There’s a proven model used by hostage negotiators that can lend some insight into building influence with a leader’s followers. The poster presents the model with the steps representing stages carried out over a period of time.
Maybe the horizontal time axis at the bottom of the chart should be our first stopping point – realizing that gaining influence in the life of another is a matter of time. There is no substitute for the passing of time as the follower is allowed to test the genuineness and consistency of what they are sensing from the leader.
Then the leader must successfully build from the first step up to the top. Skipping any of the steps or demonstrating them in random order won’t work.
ACTIVE LISTENING is first. This is when the leader gives the follower the best “listening to” they’ve ever received in their life. Full attention is given to the follower with the leader only inserting questions for clarification or to assure the listener that s/he is being heard.
EMPATHY comes next. This is where the leader can feel with the follower in their situation. You have gained enough of an understanding of their situation that you can see why they’re doing what they’re doing.
RAPPORT occurs in the follower when s/he comes to believe that the leader has achieved empathy. In other words, Empathy occurs in the leaders whereas Rapport occurs in the follower.
INFLUENCE by the leader over the hostage taker/follower can only occur at this stage when influence has been earned by the previous three stages.
BEHAVIORAL CHANGE on the part of the follower is then finally possible.
Whether it’s a hostage taking situation, the selling of a product or service, or the successful parenting of a child, this model has served the test of time.
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