I had the opportunity of interviewing an individual who had been personally mentored by David Sandler, Founder of the Sandler Selling System™.  I asked him, “What made David Sandler so successful in selling?”  He answered me without hesitation, “He was infinitely comfortable being rescued.”

Dale Carnegie said almost the same thing in his book How To Win Friends And Influence People when he said, “The best way to make a friend is to ask a favor.”

In spite of all that encouragement, most of us strive to go through life without having to ask for help.

With one of my clients, a new rep had just joined the team.  The other reps gave to her an account that no one had been able to crack.  Nothing to lose here.  She went naively to see the buyer.  He sat across from her with what seemed like a very large desk between them.

At one point in the interview, he said, “If you get me to buy from you, this would be the largest sale you’ve ever made.  Am I right?”  She responded, “It won’t only be the largest sale I’ve ever made, it will be the first sale I’ve ever made.”

His response was classic.  “Well let’s just see if we can’t make that happen.”  With those words, she got the sale.  She was willing to leave her ego in a bag by the door so that the buyer could get his ego needs met with a large sale came along with it.

I believe it is our egos that get in the way of asking for people’s help – allowing them to rescue us.

My first experience came when I went on a sales call and my pen ran out of ink.  I asked the person I was interviewing if he might be able to loan me a pen.  With a smile across his face, he said, “You bet,” and handed me a pen from across his large desk.  When I saw how good he felt that he could help me, I saw the power in allowing others to rescue you.  I never took a pen with ink in it to an initial sales call again.

Where could you allow your followers to rescue you?  Where could you become more vulnerable to them – allowing them to get their ego needs met.  Your wisdom as a leader will increase when you do.  Leading others is no place to get your own ego needs met.

Categories: Ego, Sociability

Tags: ego