The classic marriage dysfunction is when one spouse or the other says, “I shouldn’t have to tell him/her what I want.  If s/he loved me, they’d know.”

This same dysfunction impacts the leader too.  “My work should speak for itself.  If I just do a good job, I should get the promotion I want.”What really is happening is that the individual is attempting to protect themselves from being rejected.  After all, if I ask, I might get turned down.  So s/he tries all types of ways of getting what they want without having to outright ask for it.Have you ever had trouble buying a gift for someone because they so seldom expressed what they enjoyed or wanted?  On the other hand, you’re always on the look-out for a new salt shaker for that person you know who has a salt shaker collection.It ends up being much like that in the business world too.  In most cases, people are happy to help other people reach their goals . . . once they know what the person wants.  A leader has overcome his/her reluctance to ask for what s/he wants and encourages his/her followers to do the same.  The leader knows there’s no substitute.