I believe some leaders suffer from timidity due to a false definition of humility. Maybe in their childhood, they were told, “Don’t toot your own horn.” “Don’t get too big for your britches.” “Don’t get a big head.”
They began to think that humility meant being timid. Hence, the title of this poster Confident Humility. If you follow along from left to right, you’ll see at the far left end of this continuum, people who are not confident (i.e. people who are timid). Then, you’ll see as you move along the line, you find people confident in their strengths.
However, sometimes those people are unattractive people. They tend to strut, which doesn’t wear well on anyone. So, follow the line along. it moves from not confident and timid to confident in my strength and abilities . . . and not taking credit for them.
Humility — I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, but I don’t take credit for those strengths and weaknesses because there are many factors that have affected my strengths and weaknesses (factors over which I had no control or decision). Examples might be the birth country. I could have been born in Somalia, and I wasn’t; the time of my birth — I could have been born when people were dying of the bubonic plague; the gene pool into which I was born; the lack of childhood trauma. All of those were essentially out of my control.
This acknowledgement of things that are beyond the humble leader’s control extends to the present and future too. If that acknowledgement is not a part of the leader’s character, then the leader typically resorts to bravado, hubris, denial, and blaming in order to compensate for not bowing to the reality of the situation (i.e. s/he does not control the outcome of all things). I have observed that followers tend to be more secure with leaders who realize the limitations of their control as opposed to the leader who tries to compensate for not recognizing that fact. Most followers accept such limitations of their leaders and wish for their leaders to do the same.
So, do I have strengths? Do I have weaknesses? Yes. Can I, as a leader, express those with confidence? Yes, but it’s when I start taking credit for them or not openly recognize the limitations of those, that my leadership influence erodes. I look prideful, I look egotistical, simply because I started taking credit for those things over which I had no control.
My hope is, as a leader, you can find that Confident Humility balance yourself.
Categories: Assertiveness, Ego
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