There is a room of reality. As you look at this poster, you’ll see what’s in the room of reality. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail; sometimes I’m good, sometimes I’m bad; sick, well; make money, lose money — you can read the rest of them. That’s the room of reality. That’s where healthy people live most of their life.

Parents are the doorway to that. Parents usher a child who’s born totally outside the room of reality into the room of reality. Think of it. When you’re born, people take care of you, people pay your bills for a long time.

This is not the world of reality. Parents who are doing their job will gradually usher a child into the room of reality. I know that no set of parents ever get the job completely done.

Most of us were shocked as we got out into the world of reality and we began to see how it really was out here. Our parents couldn’t get it completely done while we were living in their house, under their roof, them supplying the food on the table and the housing and all of that.

They couldn’t get us into the room of reality completely. Some people fight being in the room of reality. They fight like the child in the picture. They like sitting outside the room of reality and they’re hoping that you’re going to help them stay outside the room of reality.

But here’s the truth. Reality always wins.

I could look at a place in the wall and I could say, “I want to leave this room through right here in this wall. There should be a door here.”  I could throw myself against the wall over and over and over again, but that doesn’t mean there’s ever going to be a door there. I’m going to have to eventually quit and go out through the door.  Reality is reality.

You might call it the room of truth. Truth hurts, but living in the room of reality is the less stressful place to live.

Do you have one foot in the room of reality and one foot out of the room of reality or are you embracing the reality of your situation and making the most of where you find yourself?

I like how it’s been said; you can’t solve the problem unless you first acknowledge it. If you’re trying to ignore reality or live outside of reality or make up rules that don’t fit reality, your life is going to be much more stressed.

If you’re helping other people live outside the room of reality, your life is going to be way more stressed.

Functional people live in the room of reality; they learn to cope in the room of reality.

Now what’s interesting about the newer generation entering the workplace is that their parents saw the world as an unsafe place. While on the other hand, my own parents would say, “Go out and play. When the streetlights come on make sure you come in.”

The new generation that’s entering the workplace today is the most protected generation of any generation.

In defense, their parents saw the world as unsafe, and many of them were “hovered over,” so the trip they have to make from their home to the world of reality (i.e. “the workplace of reality”) is a longer trip than many generations have had to make.

As managers who work with the newer generation you have to remember that you will be part parent – finishing the job that the parents didn’t get done – bringing the direct report completely into the room of reality.

Here’s the saving grace . . . they want to be mentored.  That entire generation wants to be mentored. I’m not saying every single person, but as a general quality of that generation, they want to be mentored.

In contrast, in my generation, we thought, “If you’re over age 30, you didn’t have anything to teach us.”

So some questions you might want to ask are: Are you living in the Room Of Reality or not; are others wanting you to help them live in it or not; and are your direct reports just finding their way into the room of reality – needing your help to make sure their feet get firmly planted inside that room?

Categories: Learning

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