Although this poster is certainly not physiologically correct, it seeks to portray what happens in the human mind as positive experiences and negative experiences enter that realm.
When we’re young, as children, we don’t have the equipment for dealing with sharp, painful experiences. Consequently, we tend to metaphorically put them behind a wall in the back of our minds – trying to ignore them. As we continue this practice, the amount of “stuff” behind the wall grows. As we grow older, our mind strength decreases to the point where we have trouble holding the wall in place as efficiently as we once did.
People can continue to put painful experiences in that back pantry well into their 30s. However, at some point the sharp, painful experiences start to pop out over the wall, through the door, and land in the front of the mind. At that point, as the adult is older and has more equipment for dealing with the painful experiences, they can work their way through them and leave them out in the front, or they can attempt to put it back behind the wall.
Entire marriages have been built on mental credit cards. Eventually the day comes when the payment comes due and both parties look at each other – realizing the back room is so full that the thought of working through it in their lifetime is insurmountable, and divorce becomes their option of choice.
A leader seeks to keep short accounts. A leader seeks to keep their mental energy from being dissipated by items kept behind the wall and the strength needed to keep the wall up. A leader seeks to deal with issues as they arise so their mind can remain clear – putting that energy towards more profitable pursuits.
Categories: Conflict Management
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