In Sandler Training we speak oftentimes about one way to feel better about ourselves in the quickest time frame. We’ve noticed that one needs to merely hang around with people worse off than we are. However, that presents a problem as one seeks to grow professionally and personally.
If I’m not careful, I can find myself hanging around with people who are either as successful as I am, or less successful than I am and continue to feel good about myself. I lull myself into a self-imposed state of contentment and cease progressing in my own personal development.
This poster says, “Don’t only hang with people on your level. Hang with people to whom you can aspire.” I need to associate with people who are a level above me; who are where I want to go; who have already achieved what I want to achieve – being careful to not reach too far above where I am or I will get discouraged before I’m able to get there.
Only then can I get to know those people, understand how those people think, begin to understand that they are very much similar to me.
Instead the human tendency, as you see that arrow pushing down on that fellow’s head, is to level people who are better off than we are. Levelling goes on frequently.
It’s when I say, “Yes, he did get that promotion, but you know what? His marriage is falling apart.” I just levelled that person. I just brought them down to where their promotion didn’t make me feel bad about myself.
Entire families level. The first person is going off to college and hears, “Oh, so, you think you’re better than the rest of us?” Those are the words they get as they go out the door.
That’s levelling. It’s hanging around with people worse off than we are so we don’t feel bad about ourselves instead of intentionally being with people better off than we are. With whom do you associate?
Categories: Competitive Style, Ego, Sociability
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